Quick hits!

I'm starting to think that maintaining a blog is a bad idea. This is for three reasons: a) I don't have a computer, and b) I don't have the motivation to do it. The third reason is new. It is because I just completed this column and then had it promptly deleted as I tried to spell check it. I hate technology....Ok, well maybe not hate it, but Im pretty ticked off right now. So, I will try to re-write this whole thing...hopefully it will be funnier....that is if it was funny in the first place. Oh, and good news: I now have one confirmed viewer on this site. You know who you are!

With that aside, on with the show.....

--The best moment of the weekend goes to Thurday evening: not only did I see Mission Impossible 3 for free, but I was mistaken for Star's Goalie Marty Turco at Northpark Mall. As any honest person would, I confirmed his query and pretended to be the local athlete, but declined his request for an autograph. Whenever I think about how there is a star-struck teenager named Jason that will tell everyone about how he met a pro-athlete at the mall I giggle to myself.

Check out my updated long list of mistaken identities: Marty Turco, Matt Morris, and John Stamos. I think this new addition has catapulted me into a new pantheon of being mistaken for "B-Listers" and token "That Guy"'s.

--I thought I had seen Barry Bonds go through some tough and hostile environments, but there is no way to compare how the Philly fans emotionally dismantled him. People from Philadelphia are unquestionably the most cold-hearted monsters on the planet. I have no doubt they are the same type people who put little pieces of metal into burgers at fast-food joints. My Buddy Adam, summed up the whole Philly episode by saying, "You gotta hand it to those Philly fans. They'd boo your grandmother's 70th birthday party."

(Which reminds me. Which is worse? The car that doesn't pull up in a fast food drive through making everyone else in line unable to order, or the lady who goes into Subway just moments before you and order five sandwiches to take home to her kids? While my patience wears thin when I'm drunk and ready for a Jack Chicken Sandwich, I have to go with the Subway lady because you can't help but think about how if you had only gotten there a moment earlier you wouldn’t be standing there watching her read off a list while she looks like she’s completely in over her head. On the other hand, this does allow for the funniest moment in all of fast-food: Watching the Hispanic guy behind the counter stare blankly at her while she unloads her list of food. Only resulting in her speaking louder and slower with exaggerated hand gestures. And yet, I digress....)

--What a horrible sports weekend for me. The Mavs lost to the spurs, the Avs got shutout twice, and the Rangers were swept by the Yanks. Yikes. The only thing that kept me from lighting my head on fire was that I celebrated two birthdays, drank and incomprehensible amount of alcohol, and my buddy Drew was almost arrested twice in the same day for being drunk and disorderly.

At the game I watched Drew, a BoSox Fan, go nuts when Johnny Damon came to bat. It was the same anger that I felt towards A-rod, but my dislike had become more silent in the years since he left for NY. But after A-Rod's grand slam to put the game out of reach we realized that there is something about your favorite player going to the Yankees that makes you become irrational. Next thing I know I'm yelling right along side drew, until we have the whole section chanting. It's sad that I can’t appreciate a former Rangers MVP because he fills me with so much hate.

--Following up on Drew. That night he refused a ride home from Pluckers, walked to Tom Thumb, began washing windshields of cars that pulled up (earning 5 bucks) and was told to leave the premise by a security office. He then walked down lovers lane towards campus, and was picked up by us as he was in the middle of singing "you've lost that loving feeling." He did all of this while on speaker phone with me, Chad, Lauren, and Kristen. Drew had a good weekend.

Ok, I have much more. I realize that this wasn’t that funny, but hopefully it was entertaining. I'm still finding my swing in this thing. Writing about our goofy happenings in intramurals was a bit easier, but stick with me, I'll get there.

B.Viddy