Musings

For the life of me, I can't write today. I have spent the better part of the day trying to find something to fill my time and there is nothing that seems to captivate my interests. No great stories from the week, no major sports issues, no nothing. I have stared at this screen for about an hour while the cursor blinks while throwing out one idea after another. You see, when I have nothing that immediately comes to mind, I start by finding a topic that may require a little research and then begin writing soon as I have enough info to do something with it. Today's idea was American Idol winner Taylor Hicks and his mind-numbing Ford commercial. I started to get going before I realized that this topic would most likely make me start stapling my fingers to the desk. It was this that made me think to just start writing with no general direction or aim and see where it takes us. If its good, I'll post it if its not, I'll just delete it like 1/3 of everything else I write. So, now the Dr. Pepper is kicking in and the keyboard is kicking and away we go....

Barry Bonds: Ok, so I lied about having no sports issues, I have a few quick hits starting with Bonds. When hit with the news that he might be indicted, his legal team fired back that they have no reason to believe that he is in any legal trouble, but yet are "prepared" for anything. Is he nuts? Is this what his team is telling him, or is he just trying to act like nothing is going on? I mean his personal trainer just got sent to jail for obstruction of justice by refusing to testify. How can you not be a little worried if you're Bonds? I think I would have chewed my nails to the bone and tried to create a national media distraction that might help save my ass. I mean I'm shocked that Bonds has not come up with an imaginary story about how he was molested as a little boy by Willie Mays. This would not be out of the question were our positions reveresed. Either this is the best case of keeping it cool that I have ever seen or Bonds is more delusional than Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky.

Rangers: Ohooooo, maybe I was a bit fortuitous when I praised their offense after the All-Star break. I think they have 4 runs total in the last three or four games. Not good times. Now the trade winds are blowing, and suddenly the Rangers seem to be sellers more than buyers. "Oh no! We suck again!" is a line I wouldn't be opposed to using right now. Its things like this that are gonna drive me to drinking at work. I'm sure of it.

Taylor Hicks Ford Commercial: Cancer to almost every sense in the human body. I can't write anything more about this. I hate it that much.

Chappelle's Show, The Lost Episodes: Well one thing is certain; It must take Dave a few weeks on the job to get his juices flowing. I mean aside from the Tupac sketch, this season has been relatively mediocre. I'm sure the final episode will have some kick to it, but most of the material is dated and just ok at best. I know its hard to live up to last season, and I know that we forget some of the mundane sketches from the previous two seasons, but its difficult not to be a little bit disappointed. On the bright side, at least we don't have Charlie Murphy and Donnell Rawlings up on stage acting like over-the-top yukmonkies as they desperately hold on to the splintered ship that is their former jobs. Oh, wait.

Beats from the Street: There are a few albums that I have been listening to non-stop and I wanted to throw them up here. I won't say much about them because I figure I will come off sounding silly as I am no music critic, but "Under The Iron Sea" by Keane, and "Eyes Open" by Snow Patrol are fantastic. Both of these albums, in my opinion, are killer from start to finish. If your interested in a little indie rock from the British Isles check these out. Trust me. The difference between them is that Keane is more of a piano ballad group like Coldplay, while Snow Patrol is more true to the chill indie rock label (How's that for sounding like I know what I'm talking about). If you don't like that genre or you just don't like my taste in music I suggest you go ahead and skip these. This means you, Pat.

The Countdown: We are a little under the three-fourths mark to when Drew comes back to Dallas. Unquestionably, we are all a little excited about this because we all jump in rank when he rolls into town. Meanwhile Avon, Connecticut loses one of its patron saints of destruction and general disarray. I think both sides will welcome the change.

RT's Hooptie: The Cutlass no longer starts via the ignition. Now, when there is a crowd of us heading somewhere, RT has to hotwire his own car to get it going. No joke. I'm not making this up. You wouldn't believe it unless you saw it. Of course, this allows for the endlessly funny situation where RT is hotwiring the car and we all start yelling from the balcony for him to "get away from our car, you bastard! Somebody stop him!" as passers-by start frantically looking at each other back and forth, not knowing what exactly to do. All the while, RT's trademark smile looks a bit more like Mark Cuban during the NBA finals. Fun, but straight ghetto, Ryan.

Pirates: No, no. I don't mean the Johnny Depp movie. I mean spending a Saturday evening dressed as pirates for a friend's film project. And when I say dressed, I mean it. We had costumes galore, and we looked good. We shot the diner scene in When Harry Met Sally where Meg Ryan fakes an orgasm during a meal, only everyone was a pirate. The best part was that yours truly got to be the guy behind her (or in this case him) making the strange faces. Add to this the fact that we ended the shooting by filming a pirate music video to "Jitter Bug" by George Michael, featuring Chad doing the worm, and you have the formula for a guaranteed hit. It was great. And no, there is nothing remotely dorky about this.