Copa del Mundo Madness!

Today has been a long day. And by long I mean: man, was hung over this morning. Mavs win because Jet is the man. I'm not gonna analyze the game other than to say that Jet's missed dunk/finger roll became hilarious as soon as the Mavs won. Before that I was ready to start gnawing on the wall in anger. Moving on...

Today I came across a terrific article by DJ Gallo about the World Cup which starts today. I don't really care for soccer, but I am pumped about the World Cup, and this article made me laugh out loud. You can check it out here. Trust me it's worth it, even if soccer is not your cup of tea. If nothing more, just read the part about the World Cup logo. Genius!

One thing I actually thought of while getting paid to poop at work: I was reading the comics in the newspaper while sitting there at the john and I came across Dennis the Menace. I started to think about the fact that every panel he is ever in involves him over at Mr. Wilson's house. Now, this kids like, what?, eight years old? Ten at best? And here he is everyday over at this old man's house? Doesn't anyone see anything wrong with this? Are you trying to tell me this kid would rather stay with Grump-O Wilson than play with his friends? Really? And for that matter where are his friends? Are you saying he doesn't have even one friend? Shouldn't his parents be a little bit concerend over this? This whole thing is a bit fishy if you ask me. I don't know why I noticed that, but I just think these are things you should know.

(Side Note: The great thing about the eleventh floor men's bathroom is that when I stroll in there at 3:30 everyday, there is a copy of the funny pages and my daily horoscope (It says I'm focused today!) along with a crossword and other things of that nature sitting there from the person before me. Everyday. Obviously, this puts a tremendous upside on going to the commode. The best part is that there is a new one delivered there to the big, handicapped stall like clockwork. Which is good because let’s say I don't like to leave the handicapped stall to grab a paper, and there's no way I'm resting these cheeks on the regular-person seats. In fact, if there’s someone in there when I get the call, I just wait it out. I don't know who this man is who leaves me my bathroom amusement, but I would like to shake his hand...Well, maybe not.)

With that said, I'm starting to fear the direction I am taking this entire web site...Oh well.

Another interesting event took place while I was in the elevator today. Now, I have many "Elevator Etiquette Rules" but the one I am going to mention is the "No Talking Rule." You know what I'm talking about. I don't know you and you don't know me, and there's only a window of eleven floors for us to learn each other's life stories. Save it. Lets just awkwardly stand there with dead silence and the humming in the elevator. In fact if you encounter this situation with the same person enough times, you can have imaginary friendships with them. The possibilities of your adventures are limitless. Just ask my non-speaking elevator friend, Angry Eyebrows Guy. (I wonder what wacky adventures we'll get into tonight?)

Anyways, there are exceptions to this rule. One is if your a hot chick. You ladies are always welcome, just no promises on me not saying something dumb and ruining any chance I had. Another is if you are a Hispanic lady and have this to say to me in a Latina accent:

"You should be in a soap opera."

Well guess what? A Mexican(?) lady did just that. Completely out of no where too. Strangely enough that wasn't the first time I heard something like that today. (The first was from one of my dad's buddies...wait. I don't think I'm comfortable with that anymore). All I could do was blush and laugh as I exited the elevator with a hop in my step. Well this whole story quickly snow-balled through the office, mainly because I told everyone--but that’sneither here not there. The important thing is that the girls in HR that I work with decided to come up with a soap opera name for me. The final verdict? Logan Landry. I think that name is worthy of permanent italics. Needless to say, I have been walking around the office the entire day with completely underserved sense of accomplishment.