Pluckers + Mavs = Crazy Delicious

OK, so I was out sick yesterday and spent the entire day in bed or at Best Buy. I think it was bad karma from calling out Paul for being sick the day before. Regardless, its now June and we have some monthly paper work to do before we get to the links.

First, I am welcoming new writers to The Shitter. That is, if anyone wants to contribute. You can do this in a number of fashions such as writing your own columns, where I will add you as a contributor, or you can just send stuff to me at any one of my email addresses. You know them....and if you don’t, just post a comment on this site and i will give it to you. And, while we are on the subject, post comments if you want they are welcome. How about this? The first one to post a comment gets an exploding high five. The whole point of adding people is to spark interest and maybe get some weekly stuff we can count on such as maybe movie reviews or just random stuff. Honestly, anything is welcome...unless it sucks, then it gets thrown in the trash. Tell you the truth, this could be a bad idea.....ok, I'm rambling.

June maybe a tough month for posts and links. I may have trouble showing you where da gold at this month. If you need to find the gold, then here is where you will find others searching for the same Irish treasure as you. My reasons for being busy will number. For instance this month will show an increase in work as one of my co-workers is leaving. Also this month, is my sister's wedding, a river trip this weekend, many, many baseball games, and least importantly work.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way lets get to the point here. As many of you know, on any mavs game day you can find be beering it up at Pluckers with the crew. Consequently, this Mavs playoff run has depleted my wallet and made me feel fat. Ok, that completely made me sound like a girl, but I think you get the idea. Regardless, fatty foods and 34 ounce beers while watching the Mavs is on par with some of the greatest things in life, such as finding money in your pocket, not having to wipe after a dump (you know what I'm talking about), and making a girl leave your apartment at 3 or 4 am. You can count on this, I will be at Pluckers tonight and Friday night.

Along those lines, my buddy Louie was with me on Tuesday night at Pluckers. Tuesday happens to be 40 cent wing night. Well Louie decided that he was gonna challenge popular belief and eat some "fire in the hole" hot wings. Now let me give you a background on these wings. Chad put himself up on the Wing Board by eating 33 of these bad boys. That night I ate one. One. And I almost died. While they aren't as hot as the ones at Quaker State (where you have to sign a waiver to eat them), they are mighty hot. Well, Louie was talking some trash about how the wings weren't as hot as Wing Stop. He eats one, then another. "They're not that hot. This is nothing." I swear to you 90 seconds later his lips were swollen and sweat was running down his face. "Ok, they're pretty hot" then "Phew, this kinda sucks" then "I can't finish these." The best part is that he only ordered five of them! This was almost as bad as when my buddy Adam said he could throw a baseball at least 70 mph at a Rangers game, then threw an embarrassing 59 mph! An epic disgrace that we all saw coming. These are my friends.

--http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2463035-- Article about how former NFL and CFL quarterback Joe Theismann thinks former Dolphin Ricky Williams is a "disgrace to the game." His rant includes not wanting to be associated with the Argonauts now that they signed him and saying he doesn't deserve to play football. All the while, saying that Ricky is a "good kid." Theismann pulled a Mugatu from Zoolander and started pulling at his hair and screaming "Who cares about Ricky Williams anyway? The man does drugs for Christ's sake! Weed? Pot? Marijuana? They're the same thing! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"

--http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2463377-- I think Stephon Marbury has lost his mind. In this article he explains how he wants to "Die a Knick." The best part is when he says that if he were cremated he wants his ashes sprinkled on Madison Square Garden. I can just see it Steve Francis holding Marbury's urn on top of MSG, saying "We commit your final mortal remains to the bosom of the Garden, which you loved so well. Good night, sweet prince," then proceeding to dump the ashes into the wind and all over Larry Brown, just like The Big Lebowski. Followed by Brown angrily replying, "Dammit, Steve. You make everything a f****ing travesty!"

--http://www.teamtigerawesome.com/slater_ep1.html-- 28 Day Slater. This is a short movie under the premise that Mario Lopez becomes Albert Clifford (AC) Slater from Saved By The Bell every February. There is nothing unfunny about this. I think that Mario should just go ahead and do this every February. I mean, come one, what else is he doing anyways? The major upside to this movie is that you'll call everyone at work "Mama" or "Preppie" for at least a week. The bad side, you'll have the theme song stuck in your head for twice as long.

(Here is Episode2, and here is Episode3. Everyone of these is terrific. I swear I'm gonna get fired if I keep watching these all day).

--http://www.cnn.com/video/player/player.html?url=/video/offbeat/2006/05/27/azuz.off.beaten.path.sat.affl-- What's better than tossing one back with your dog? Having him get you a beer first! Can you imagine explaing to your boss how you are late for work because you stayed up all night getting hammered with your terrier? This is the greatest agrument ever put foward towards the domestication of both cats and dogs. End of story.

--http://tv.yahoo.com/news/ap/20060601/114915090000.html-- Lark Voorheies from Saved By the Bell is suing under the premise of libel for the media saying she had a drug problem. Somehow she is delusional enough to describe herself as a "famous and popular actress." She then broke into tears and admitted she did, indeed, have a problem, but fought her way through it with the help of friend and former caffeine- addict Jessie Spano. She also thanked husband Screech Powers for all the moral support. No word from her other friends. It should be noted, though, that Mr. Bellding said he "always knew she would become a trashy slut."