All up in my Kool-Aid

So this past Thursday evening I went to Industry Bar for a little bit of happy hour with my co-workers. This night took a strange turn when one of the accountants, Nakita, showed up. He happens to be a gay black guy and he shows it. Man is he black and man is he gay. Anyways, long story short, he is talking with me and Teresa and comments on her ass. "Baby, you got ass that would make a black man scream, too bad for me." Well this scene goes on for a bit when suddenly he brings up men's asses and comments on my buddy Alex's "non-existent" butt. He then goes on to say that I lack one too. Now, I wish I could say that I didn't care what this gay guy had to say about my behind, but I felt it was my duty to defend my honor.

Now let me say something in my own defense, since I started working out again, my pants size has dropped like 3 inches, so all of my work slacks are a bit loose. Consequently, the bum does not always make quite the impression it should because the pants hide it ( I know, I really shouldn't care....but dammit, that's a personal attack!). Regardless, I kindly explained this to him and stood defiantly with my arms crossed. Well, this prompted him to offer this little line, "Prove it," as a grin flashed across his face. That's when I reevaluated what was going on. I realized I was on the brink of something horrible and quickly dropped the subject all together. I went home feeling like I had just leap out of the way of a life-altering bullet. The whole ordeal is one of the gayest things I have ever been a part of, and that's probably saying a lot. Now Nikita gives me that frightening same smile everyday at work and I can't help but feel like a fly caught in the net of a very gay spider.

On to the links......
--http://livedigital.com/content/1381/u115--It's a warm spring morning as you walk up a hill back to your apartment in downtown San Francisco. The birds are chirping, the sun is warm, and you cannot possibly think of anything that could ruin your day. Suddenly.......

--http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/recap;_ylt=AvEYqLGl9PKCpOLn5s8Opl97vLYF?gid=2006051418-- You know, when Sgt. Slaughter became a bad guy back during the first gulf war, I always booed him and the Iraqi flag and music he represented, but that was because we were in the midst of a war. This? I just don't get this. Its like going home for Thanksgiving only to find that your loser brother got a real job so you mash him over the head with the cranberry sauce in front of grandma. Wars have been started for less. Thank God, it's only Canada.

--http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chewbacca_defense--This is why Wikipedia is by far the coolest site on the web, bar none. I will not argue about this.

--http://www.gunthernet.com/--Like the Arctic Monkies, this European is gonna tear up the charts while not forgeting about his goal to "sexualize the world." Enter the world of Gunther.

--http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2440983--An Angels fan sues over a Mother's Day promotion at the ballpark, in which he did not get a "Mother's Day Tote Bag" due to his gender. What do you think his friends thought after the team compensated him by sending four tote bags to his home? Can't you just see this guy trying to make his case with his buddies while they stand with their arms crossed, shaking their heads in disgust? I bet this is the same guy who argues with the people at Starbucks for not putting enough sprinkles on his Peppermint Mocha Frappichino. They need to make a "Real Men of Genius" about these kinds of guys. Honestly, if this were one of my friends I might not talk to him ever again.