Zilch!

So according to this article. Former Oakland Athletics pitcher Barry Zito has rejected the Texas Rangers' offer to pitch for six years at 80 million dollars. Not only were the Rangers the highest bidder for Zito's services, but Zito has an 11-1 record at the Ballpark. So let's think about this: We offer the most money, the most years, and he knows how to pitch here. Add to this that he would have made a championship caliber rotation consisting of him, Millwood, Padilla, McCarthy, and Tejeda.

Tell me then what, if anything, can the Rangers do to get a top flight pitcher into Arlington? Anything? I mean if not Zito, then who? Zito was going to get more money, more years, join a team that would be have been stocked with pitching from the rotation to the bullpen, and he has had success here. Major success. And yet, he said no. Why?

Has Barry Zito been listening to the New York newspapers? Or the media? Maybe. I mean you can just google the East Coast papers and Zito's name and find a story about him. And the thing is that each story has a similar tune. They all tell Barry, in their "all-knowing-I'm-from-New-York-so-that-makes-me-an-expert-on-things" voice (sorry, Mom) that he wouldn't be happy in Dallas. There is only two types of music there: county and western. It's all cowboy hats and leather boots.

Give me a break. Do I really need to go into the inner workings of the 9th largest city in the country? Anyone from the South knows that Dallas is about as western as a pair of capri pants. The town is structured around money. New Money, not the oil money of years ago. This is a place that has its soul in the live music and idiosyncrasies of Deep Ellum and it's muscle in the posh and vibrant areas of Uptown and Victory Park. Any for those who know, these places represent some of the trendiest locations in the country. This is not a backwater, hick town as some New York writers would have you believe. Of course, I am sure they are probably experts about this so I guess I am wrong and should defer to their judgement.

You need a town like New York where you will be in the spotlight. The city will practically make you.

Or will it eat you up, Barry? Think about it. New York is where MVP's and All-Stars like Giambi, A-Rod, Kenny Rogers, and Randy Johnson have been ripped apart under the scrutiny. More often than not, it is in these big baseball cities that free agent stars fail under the pressure.

As a Rangers fan, this does not catch me by surprise. I've seen this happen over and over. Texas gets played, while the pitcher gets paid. The only exception is when they signed Chan Ho Park for 51 million, only he got paid and proceeded to wet the proverbial bed for five years, but I refuse to go into that now.

Let's do a rundown, here is a short list of upper tier free agent pitchers that have not signed with the Rangers, despite being offered the high dollar amount. Also, this list is limited to the pitchers that I remember in the next 15 seconds:

1. Randy Johnson - Who openly admitted later that he had no intention of singing with Texas. he only wanted to raise his price for Arizona.

2. Roger Clemens - Went to New York despite saying that he wanted to stay in Texas.

3. Matt Morris - I think I am just mad about this one because I've been told he looks like me, and that would have created a wonderful little situation for me here in Dallas.

4. Roger Clemens again - Yeah, that's twice now. That is unless, those 50 games he sat out last year were for something else?


I am sure there are more and the possibility of Mulder doing this is always there. Anyways, I think you see the point. Regardless, It's about that time for me to head the airport. See you in Nashville.

Funniest Thing Ever?

Say what you want about Justin Timberlake, but he is soley responsible for the two funniest episodes of Saturday Night Live in the past seven years.

The figurative hangover

December. Wow, and what have I done? Nothing on this site. So, for the handful of you still loyal to come around every now and then let me say, "Thank you." For the rest of you traitors lets just move on before the name calling starts.

Let me catch all of you up real fast: work became worky, free time became not free timey, drinking became sobriety, and I became not so much fun any morey....? Anyways, you get the idea. Lets just say that studying for the LSAT really took up my time as does work. But fear not forgotten ones, for ye are never forgotten. I have some good stuff for you that I will try to put together sooner rather than later. Because I am a realistic person, I assume that daily readers have become a thing of the past; therefore, I figure that most of you who still make a visit or two do so weekly or biweekly or whenever you just bored enough to remember this silly site. Anyways, for you today I have a story from good ole' RT.

I got this e mail from him this morning:

"Honestly dude,
I'm not wearing any socks. I'm not wearing any drawers. I shaved and brushed my teeth at the office this mornig. That's a little outrageous, I think. I am still drunk, but at least the guy wants to donate, right? hahah!"

It's even funnier when you add the fact that this a guy who works for Dan Branch, a member of the United States Congress. And we wonder why the government is so unresponsive to the needs of its constituency.

Anyways, I felt his pain being as my night could be summed up by saying:

"I went to happy hour with some co workers till 9. Didn’t eat, drank and drank. Swerved my way to Mickey D's (Don't try this at home kids). Threw some fries down my guzzle, and landed face first on my bed. I woke up at 2 am with about 100 missed calls from Jessica. She had to call Pat to find out where I was. "

Not quite shaving at the office, but something to write home about, most definitely. Regardless, Ryan was not done and added this little bit to my morning:

"To further piece my night together: my uncle in Durango called me and offered me Broncos tickets. At 1 in the morning.

I think I made out with the bartender.

I don't remember driving home.

All i want to do is go ajs;dflkjaslkdfjal;k kjfnvlaksjwoijaiwlfgajm on my keyboard and close my eyes and go back to sleep.
Damn, I have to sleep tonight. DAAAAAAAMN.

Or we can go out again.
Proud of you for letting Jess find you like that. That's always fun. "

Agreed. But he goes on and takes a figurative turn...

"Dude, I'm never drinking again. I know that sounds ridiculous, but this time, I'm serious. I almost just lost my job because I missed an event at a school at 815 this morning. I went to happy hour which turned into happy 2 in the morning with a guy who wants to donate to our campaign last night. Damn. My head hurts."

RT. Representing Dan Branch. Representing Texas. Representing you.